THE HEARTBREAK OF MINISTRY | Jeanne Mayo

To say excitement was in the air in anticipation of our first year students coming in, a new group in my Prevail Women's ministry, the Cadre, or traveling to meet another group of amazing pastors would be a huge understatement! Regardless of what the year holds, I'm always ready to give my heart away yet again. While the journey with most will be incredible, five decades in ministry tells me that one or two will break my heart.

Have you ever given your time, energy and heart to someone on your leadership team and then just had them walk away? If this hasn't happened to you, then you probably haven't been in ministry very long.

I think it's impossible to love and care for others deeply without hurting deeply. But I have learned that the very thing that makes ministry and life most fulfilling is giving your heart away. Relationship is the only way that we are all gratified and whenever you extend relationship, you have a high likelihood of being hurt. This has happened to me many times, yet even Jesus shared this pain with His disciples. Jesus poured His time, energy and heart into the 12 guys closest to Him and yet, Judas not only betrayed Him, but did it with a kiss.

Your choice when this happens is how you process the pain. You can either live a shriveled-up, self-centered life...that is just me, my four and no more and someday they still may hurt you...or you can choose to take a risk, to build into someone's life and give your heart away where it may get hurt. I have learned to put an invisible shield over my heart. I know it gets bent, dinged and hurt occasionally, so in prayer I say to the Lord, "I need You to take this shield back and pound out some of the dings and the hurt."

Often it has helped me to spend time processing my emotions and feelings by journaling. But even with the big bumps and hurtful situations, this side of the ministry is worth absolutely every price tag you pay. Because you're soul becomes shriveled-up if you don't pay it.