COMPARE AND COMPETE: MINISTRY’S DREADED DUO | Jeanne Mayo
You’ve heard me say it a thousand times:
“If you compare and compete, you’ll live in defeat.”
But how do we actually deal with that?
How do we face down comparison and competition without letting them eat us alive?
And yes… before you ask… I still deal with them.
Do I still compare myself and feel like a failure?
Oh gosh, yes.
Do I still feel that internal nudge of competition?
Yes, yes, and yes.
It’s humbling to admit, but I want you to know: no amount of “success” makes you immune. Humanity stays humanity. And the enemy knows exactly which buttons to push.
So let me share with you how I’ve learned to face comparison and competition through the years… and by God’s grace, come out on top more often than not.
1. Prioritize the Art of “Do‑It‑Yourself Encouragement”
I know, I know… you saw this one coming.
But hear me: it’s foundational.
It’s survival.
If you don’t learn how to encourage yourself in the Lord, you won’t stay in the game — not in ministry, not in marriage, not in family, not in leadership, not in anything that matters.
We all know the Scripture.
You’ve probably preached it.
David comes home from battle to find everything gone — his home burned, his possessions stolen, his wives kidnapped, his children missing. And to make matters worse, his own men are talking about stoning him.
Talk about a bad day at the office.
And then comes that immortal line in 1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV):
“Then David encouraged himself in the Lord.”
He didn’t wait for someone else to lift him up.
He didn’t wait for circumstances to improve.
He didn’t wait for applause or affirmation.
He encouraged himself.
Scripture says he called for the robe he wore when he worshiped — because he knew he had to get his mind and thoughts in the right place. He knew he had to shift the atmosphere inside his own soul.
And friend, that’s what you and I have to do too.
There’s a sign in my house that reads:
“There is always, always, always something to be grateful for.”
It’s true.
But you have to choose to see it.
You have to take your thoughts captive.
You have to replace the weeds with flowers.
You can’t just say, “I won’t think about this.”
You have to intentionally think about something else.
You have to become your own cheerleader — not in a cheesy way, but in a spiritual, disciplined, David‑in‑the-ashes kind of way.
Because if you don’t own what goes on in your mind, comparison and competition will.
And they will eat you alive.
2. “Murder” the Attitude of Competition
Yes, I said murder.
And no, I’m not talking about anything that will get you featured on a true‑crime podcast.
I’m talking about killing — crucifying — the fleshly, insecure, ego‑driven urge to compete with other leaders.
One of the most powerful ways to do that?
Send encouragement to the person you secretly compete with.
I know.
It feels backwards.
It feels unnatural.
It feels like the last thing you want to do.
But that’s exactly why it works.
Scripture tells us over and over that following Jesus requires us to crucify our flesh — to kill the parts of us that want to be the center of the universe.
So when I feel jealous of someone…
or threatened by someone…
or competitive with someone…
I put my little spiritual tongue out at the enemy and do the opposite.
I send a text.
I send a voicemail.
I send a note.
I affirm them.
I celebrate them.
I bless them.
Even if it’s just a quick message.
Because every time I do, I’m murdering a little piece of the competition inside me.
I’m starving the insecurity.
I’m suffocating the jealousy.
I’m refusing to let the enemy write the narrative.
And every time I do it, I feel freer.
3. Clarify What “Rabbit” You Want to Chase
This one comes from my grandmother — your immortal granny — who used to say:
“Chase two rabbits, and both of them will get away.”
Most leaders who feel like failures aren’t failing because they’re incompetent.
They’re failing because they’re chasing too many rabbits.
When I start comparing myself to others…
When I start feeling like I’m not doing enough…
When I start spiraling into competition…
It’s usually because I’ve lost clarity on what actually matters.
We’re all wired differently.
My wiring makes me want to add value — 100X value — into other leaders’ lives. That’s my rabbit. That’s my lane. That’s my calling.
So there are several parts of ministry I’ve intentionally walked away from so I could have time to do simple things like this for you.
You have to decide what your rabbits are.
What your key goals are.
What your God‑assigned priorities are.
And yes — they will change over time.
Seasons shift.
Assignments evolve.
Capacity expands or contracts.
But hear me:
If you try to do too many things, you’ll be unsuccessful at all of them.
“No” is one of the most sacred words you can learn to say — to everyone but Jesus.
And here’s a quote I remind myself of often:
“Being YOUR best is good enough to be GREAT.”
Not their best.
Not Instagram’s best.
Not the ministry down the street’s best.
Your best.
That’s enough.
That’s beautiful.
That’s obedience.
4. Remind Yourself That You Play for an Audience of One
This one is simple, but it’s a game‑changer.
Most of us wouldn’t worry so much about what other people think of us if we realized how little they actually do.
Human nature is self‑centered.
People are thinking about themselves — not you.
But social media has trained us to believe that everyone is watching, evaluating, critiquing, comparing.
Sweetheart… they’re not.
And yet we give the “cheap seats” in our lives so much power.
The critics.
The complainers.
The ones who don’t know our hearts.
The ones who don’t carry our calling.
The ones who haven’t paid the price we’ve paid.
Why do we let them have so much influence?
Why do we replay their voices in our heads?
Why do we let them shape our identity?
Turn those voices down.
Not off — that’s nearly impossible — but down.
And turn up the voice of the One who matters.
If you ever played sports, you know this:
In the middle of the screaming crowd, you learned to recognize your coach’s voice.
That’s what I want with Jesus.
So I pray — specifically, because specific prayers get specific answers:
“Lord, let me know Your voice well enough that it rises above the crowd.”
Because at the end of the day, you play for an Audience of One.
He doesn’t demand perfection.
He asks for direction.
He asks for obedience.
He asks for faithfulness.
And someday, when you stand before Him, you will be so glad you didn’t let comparison and competition eat away the inside of you.
Final Thoughts
Comparison and competition are a dreaded duo.
They’re sneaky.
They’re persistent.
They’re relentless.
And if you’re on social media much, you’re giving them way too much ammunition.
But you don’t have to live defeated.
Encourage yourself in the Lord.
Murder competition by blessing the very people you’re tempted to envy.
Clarify your rabbits — your God‑assigned priorities.
And play for an Audience of One.
Do those things, and you’ll walk in freedom.
You’ll lead with joy.
You’ll stay in your lane.
And you’ll finish your race well.
Hey… have a great day, will you?
You’re doing better than you think.
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