CULTIVATING THE HEART OF A SHEPHERD | Jeanne Mayo

February 19th, 2026

If you’ve been around ministry for more than five minutes, you’ve probably noticed something: the church world today is overflowing with leaders who function like CEOs. Slick. Strategic. Vision‑driven. And honestly, that’s not all bad. The Kingdom needs strong leadership. But somewhere along the way, we’ve accidentally created more ministry executives than true shepherds.

And hear my heart: I love leadership. I’ve taught leadership for decades. But at the end of the day, Jesus didn’t call us to be corporate executives. He called us to be shepherds. And cultivating that shepherd’s heart isn’t something that just magically appears. It’s a mantle we choose to put on, day after day.

Let’s talk about what that looks like.

1. Love Isn’t a Feeling — It’s a Choice

If you’re waiting to feel love for every student, parent, or volunteer in your ministry… you’re going to be waiting a long time. Ministry isn’t built on warm fuzzies. It’s built on choices.

Paul says in Colossians 3:14, “Put on love.”

You don’t “put on” something that’s already naturally happening. You put it on because it’s a decision.

When you choose to act in love, the feelings usually follow. Not instantly. Not magically. But consistently.

This is what separates shepherds from emotional reactors. Shepherds are obedience‑driven, not feeling‑driven. They choose the Jesus way even when their emotions are taking a nap.

2. Shepherds Chase the Sheep

One of the most heartbreaking verses in Scripture is Ezekiel 34:6, “My sheep wandered… and no one searched or sought after them.” Ouch.

Jesus paints a different picture in Matthew 18:12 — the shepherd who leaves the ninety‑nine to chase the one. That’s the heart of a shepherd: initiative. Pursuit. Showing up before the crisis, not just after.

And let me say this gently: most of the real shepherding doesn’t happen on a stage. It happens in the margins — the text you send on a Tuesday, the school lunch you show up for, the conversation in the parking lot.

And yes, a lot of that chasing happens outside the youth service. It’s quieter. Less visible. But far more powerful.

3. Do for One What You Wish You Could Do for Hundreds

Jesus ministered to crowds, but He discipled a few. And yes, He even had favorites — Peter, James, and John. Not because He loved them more, but because He invested in them differently.

This is where the P3 Principle comes in — the “Parent’s Priority Principle.” Every parent wants their child to be your priority. And every student needs to be somebody’s priority person.

That’s why small groups aren’t just a strategy. They’re a lifeline. They make it possible for every student to be known, seen, and shepherded.

You can’t personally shepherd hundreds. But you can shepherd one. And if every leader in your ministry does the same, the whole flock gets cared for.

4. People Like People Who Like Them

This one sounds almost too simple, but it’s ministry gold: People naturally gravitate toward people who genuinely like them.

Your opinion of someone often has less to do with who they are and more to do with how they make you feel about yourself. So be the leader who initiates. Who smiles first. Who speaks first. Who notices first.

Some of the greatest future kingdom leaders walk into your ministry looking completely uninterested in spiritual things. But beneath that exterior is potential waiting to be called out.

Shepherds don’t wait for sheep to show interest. Shepherds show interest first.

5. Speak Encouragement, Affirmation, and Love — Often

Seneca said, “If you wish to be loved, first speak love.”

Encouragement literally means “to put courage into.” And if there’s anything this generation needs, it’s courage.

One of my favorite examples comes from the movie Brian’s Song. Gale Sayers and Brian Piccolo formed a friendship that crossed racial lines long before it was culturally acceptable. When Sayers received an award, he accepted it on behalf of Piccolo, who was battling cancer, and publicly expressed his love for him. It was raw. It was vulnerable. It was beautiful.

Shepherds look for those moments — the moments to speak life.

Romans 2:4 reminds us that it’s God’s goodness that leads to repentance. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue.

If God uses goodness to change hearts, then so should we.

6. Mark the Entrances and Block the Exits

In Ezekiel 44:5, God tells the prophet, “Mark well the entrances to the temple and mark also the exits.”

Every ministry has entrance points — the ways people come into the family of God.

Friendship evangelism. Small groups. Personal invitation. Warm relationships.

And every ministry has exit points — the things that quietly pull people away. One of the biggest? A lack of Christian friends.

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future” isn’t just a cute quote. It’s a spiritual reality.

A shepherd pays attention to both. They cultivate the entrances and intentionally block the exits.

7. Get Out of the Ivory Tower and Into Their World

Shepherds smell like sheep because they spend time with sheep.

You can’t shepherd from a distance. You can’t influence a world you refuse to enter. Ministry happens when you show up — at games, at performances, at coffee shops, at lunch tables.

When students see you in their world, they’re far more willing to let you speak into their lives.

A shepherd doesn’t shout instructions from a balcony. A shepherd walks among the flock.

The Goal: Reflecting God’s Heart

Romans 1:20 tells us that God has revealed His nature so clearly that no one is without excuse. Our job as shepherds is to reflect that nature — His patience, His pursuit, His compassion, His love.

People should see God’s heart through the way we shepherd.

The Question: Instructor or Father?

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 4:15–16, “You have ten thousand instructors, but not many fathers.”

In ministry, it’s easy to become an instructor — someone who teaches well, organizes well, and leads well. But a father? A shepherd? That requires heart.

So here’s the question I’d ask you if we were sitting across from each other over a cup of coffee:

In your ministry, are you an instructor… or are you a true spiritual shepherd?