Let me start with a question that may sound a little strange—yet it has the power to uncover something deeply formative in our lives as leaders and followers of Christ:
Are you a “Jesus and” person?

Most of us would answer quickly and confidently: Of course not. We know the “right” theology. We believe we are saved by grace through faith. We affirm that forgiveness, acceptance, and relationship with God come through Jesus Christ alone.

And yet—if we slow down, peel back the layers, and honestly examine our lives—we may discover that at different stages of our journey, many of us quietly drift into becoming “Jesus and” people without even realizing it.

The Subtle Trap of “Faith in Christ… And”




When Anchors Are Tested
The Role of Emotional Addictions

• What do you need a little too much?
• For some, it’s approval.
• For others, it’s performance.
• For some, it’s control, security, belonging, or being needed.

• Is it success?
• Approval?
• A sense of family?
• Security?
• Healing from a wound we never fully name?

Functional Saviors and Idol Factories




Complete in Him—As Leaders

• Your acceptance is not Jesus and your ministry size.
• Not Jesus and your paycheck.
• Not Jesus and your title.

Pull Up a Chair

• Talk to Him like He’s right there—because He is.
• Rest your head there when life is lonely.
• Return there when the noise grows loud.
• 
  

When Heroes Leave… and When You Become One

If you’ve walked with Jesus for any length of time, you’ve probably discovered something both beautiful and terrifying: God loves using ordinary people to rewrite history—one person at a time. And He often does it through the influence of a hero.

That’s why I love the story in 2 Kings 2:1–15. It’s the moment when Elijah—the spiritual giant, the “youth pastor of the Palestine Youth Group”—was about to exit the scene in a blaze of glory. Literally. And Elisha, his wide‑eyed protégé, was about to step into leadership humming the ancient Hebrew version of “Anointing, Fall on Me.”

Elisha’s mission?
To change the world.
Not through stadiums or spotlights.
But through obedience.
Through faithfulness.
Through becoming the kind of person others could follow.

Because everyone needs heroes.
That’s why Jesus came in the flesh.
He knew we didn’t just need teaching—we needed a model.

John 13:15 says it plainly:
“For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done.”

A hero, in God’s vocabulary, is not a celebrity.
Not a superstar.
Not a flawless icon.

A hero is fully human… yet fully worthy of respect.

And Elisha’s journey shows us exactly how God shapes those kinds of people.

1. Heroes Are Formed by Choices, Not Abilities2. Sometimes You Lose a Hero Before You Become One




3. Heroes Repeat Their Commitments Until They Become Their Identity




4. If You Can Be Easily Shaken, You’ll Never Carry the Mantle





5. Heroes Keep Going When Others Stand on the Sidelines






6. Heroes Are Formed in the Ordinary Days





7. When Your Hero Leaves, You Step Into Your Calling




8. Heroes Don’t Just Receive the Mantle—They Pick It Up




9. Heroes Rewrite History One Person at a Time


So What About You?

If you’ve been in leadership for any length of time—whether in ministry, business, or simply leading your own family—you already know that leadership is rarely about the big, flashy decisions. It’s not usually about the strategic plans, the budgets, or even the vision statements. Those matter, of course. But they’re not the most important thing.

No, the most important leadership decision you will ever make is far quieter, far more personal, and far more powerful than any of those. It’s the decision you make every single morning before your feet hit the floor:
What attitude will I choose to cultivate today?

• Not the attitude you feel like having.
• Not the attitude your circumstances try to hand you.
• Not the attitude someone else’s drama tries to drag you into.

The attitude you choose.

I’ve said for years that your attitude is the thermostat of your leadership. It sets the temperature for everything else—your team, your ministry, your home, your future. And the older I get, the more convinced I am that this one decision shapes more outcomes than all the others combined.

William James, the father of American psychology, said it beautifully:
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their entire lives by altering their attitude of mind.”

Let that sink in.
Your entire life—altered by the posture of your heart.

So let’s talk about why your attitude is your most important leadership decision, and how to cultivate one that honors God, blesses people, and keeps you sane in the process.

1. Your Attitude at the Beginning Determines the Outcome at the End

• Your energy rises.
• Your problem-solving sharpens.
• Your influence expands.
• Your joy increases.

2. Your Attitude Toward Others Shapes Their Attitude Toward You

• Remember their name. It tells people they matter.
• Request their help. It communicates value and partnership.
• Recognize their potential. It calls out the gold in them.
• Reward their efforts. It reinforces what you want repeated.

3. The Right Attitude Turns Problems Into Possibilities

• Consensus: You acknowledge the problem. You name it. You face it.
• Critique: You evaluate it. You ask questions. You look at it from every angle.
• Choice: You decide how you will respond.

4. Your Attitude Gives You an Uncommon Perspective

• They weren’t lucky.
• They weren’t privileged.
• They weren’t unusually gifted.

• They approached challenges with optimism.
• They approached people with humility.
• They approached policies with cooperation.
• They approached pressure with steadiness.
• They approached leadership with teachability.

1. Ambition
2. Attitude toward policies
3. Attitude toward colleagues
4. Supervisory skills
5. Attitude toward excessive demands on time and energy

5. Your Attitude Is the Gateway to Genuine Happiness

• Energy begets energy.
• Joy begets joy.
• Gratitude begets gratitude.

6. Your Attitude Can Change Anytime You Decide to Change It

• Your attitude is not your personality.
• It’s not your destiny.
• It’s not your childhood.
• It’s not your Enneagram number.
• It’s not your trauma.
• It’s not your wiring.

• Put your past behind you.

• Quit blaming yourself or others.

• Choose the attitude you want.

• Create specific steps to change it.

• Adjust continually.

• It drifts.
• It pulls.
• It needs regular recalibration.

• Your attitude shapes your influence.
• Your attitude shapes your relationships.
• Your attitude shapes your resilience.
• Your attitude shapes your happiness.
• Your attitude shapes your legacy.

• Every morning.
• Every meeting.
• Every conflict.
• Every challenge.
• Every opportunity.

• Choose intentionally.
• Choose joyfully.
• Choose prayerfully.

 

If you’ve been in ministry for more than about five minutes, you already know the tension I’m talking about. It’s that constant tug of war between the people you’re called to serve and the people you’re called to raise. The church calendar pulls one direction, the family calendar pulls the other, and you’re standing in the middle praying the rope doesn’t snap.

I’ve lived in that tension for decades. And somewhere early in the journey, I made a silent but irrevocable determination—one that became my North Star through every season of ministry: my family would always come before my ministry. Not because ministry isn’t sacred. Not because the church doesn’t matter. But because the people who share my last name are the ones God entrusted to me first. If the crowds applaud but my kids feel forgotten, I’ve missed the mark. If the ministry grows but my marriage withers, I’ve built something God never asked me to build.

And let’s be honest—when Christian moms disappear from ministry altogether, the church loses something irreplaceable. Young girls lose role models. The next generation loses a living picture of what a Jesus-loving mom looks like. I genuinely believe it’s both possible and deeply fulfilling for moms to stay engaged in ministry—even in small, meaningful ways—while raising their families. Maybe it’s coffee once a week with a couple of teenage girls. Maybe it’s staying available to the people God has placed on your heart. The long-term spiritual fruit is worth it. And your children get a front-row seat to a life that models commitment, balance, and joy.

One of the statements in the Mayo Family Creed says it best:
“Though most of our friends will come and go, I will remain deeply committed to our family. The Mayo family stands as my God-given anchor and the cheering squad that is always in my corner.”

That’s the heartbeat behind everything I’m about to share. And woven through it all is a truth I love from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin:
“Someday, after we have mastered the winds and the waves, the tides and gravity, we will harness the energy and power of God’s love. And then for the second time in the history of mankind, the world will have discovered fire.”

When we get family and ministry aligned under the power of God’s love, something ignites—something bright enough to warm generations.

1. Practice the Pareto Principle in Both Ministry and Family

• Who are the key leaders or influencers who will multiply ministry more than I ever could alone?

• What small changes could make my service significantly better?

• Who can I bring alongside me?

• What can I walk away from so I can walk toward my family?

2. Recruit an “Adopted” Aunt, Uncle, or Grandparent

• Come early with your kids so they don’t have to sit around the church for hours
• Pick them up afterward so they don’t feel stuck
• Become a consistent, loving presence in their lives

3. Mobilize Sharp Teenagers or College Students to Be Heroes to Your Kids

• The Mayo Fair
• Mayo Soccer
• Christmas letters to Jesus
• Thanksgiving kernels of corn

If you highlight the perks, they’ll treasure it.

• The flexibility to go on field trips
• The dinners with missionaries
• The front-row seat to God changing lives

Why Family Is the Secret Sauce of Every Healthy Youth Ministry

There are a few ministry truths that, if we truly embraced them, would change everything. And this is one of them: creating a genuine sense of family in your ministry. It sounds beautiful. It sounds spiritual. But let’s be honest—it can also feel exhausting.

I’ll never forget a well‑meaning Sunday school leader who once looked at a group of teenagers and announced, “You guys are going to like each other… or else we’re going to die trying to make you!”

If you’ve ever led teenagers, you probably laughed—but also quietly nodded. Because many of us feel like we’ve already died trying.

Creating a family atmosphere in a youth group is far easier to talk about than to pull off, especially once your group grows beyond a dozen students. Suddenly, cliques emerge. Dating drama shows up. Friendships fracture. And underneath all of it is a deeper issue we don’t always talk about:
A lot of teenagers don’t like themselves.

At the heart of many cliques is insecurity. And when students don’t feel secure, they protect themselves with comparison, exclusivity, and distance. We teach them to “love your neighbor as yourself,” but that command is tough to live out when loving yourself feels impossible.

So how do we help teenagers learn to like each other?

By first creating a culture where they feel liked, noticed, and safe.

What the Research Confirms
Years ago, Group Magazine surveyed over 10,000 teenagers and young adults—both churched and unchurched—in what became known as the Cool Church Survey. They evaluated 20 factors that influence whether they would attend and return to a church.
The number one factor, by an overwhelming 74%, wasn’t preaching, worship, facilities, or technology.

It was a welcoming, warm environment.

“Fast‑paced, high‑tech ministry” came in dead last.

Translation?
People don’t come back because of perfection.
They come back because of connection.

Fail the friendliness test in ministry—and you fail.

The Hospital Story That Explains It All
Imagine a man who looks fine on the outside but is slowly bleeding internally. After much convincing, he finally walks into a hospital seeking help.

No one acknowledges him.

Staff members are busy talking with each other. When he tries to make contact, he receives polite but detached responses. He’s told to sit in a waiting room where everyone else seems to belong—but he doesn’t. Medical language flies over his head. Procedures feel confusing and intimidating. No one explains anything. No one connects.

After over an hour, he’s casually thanked for “coming in.”

Nothing has changed. No one asked why he came. No one helped. No one cared.

So he leaves—more convinced than ever that hospitals are cold, irrelevant, and impersonal. As the doors close behind him, someone cheerfully calls out, “Be sure to come back next week!”

Fat chance.

Inside, the staff celebrates their attendance numbers. But they don’t realize the tragic truth: the next time that man enters the hospital, it will be as a corpse.

As dramatic as that sounds, it’s painfully accurate to how people often experience church. We celebrate attendance while neglecting connection. We count bodies instead of cultivating belonging.

People don’t leave healed—they leave unheard.

Friendship Culture Changes Everything
Teenagers don’t need another program.
They need a place where their name is known.
Where their story is remembered.
Where insecurity doesn’t get fed—it gets healed.

And here’s the best part: you don’t need a title or a platform to create that culture. One volunteer can shift the atmosphere.

Simple Ways to Build Family (That Actually Work)

• Initiate connection every week. Talk to students you don’t know yet—even when it feels awkward.
• Show up early, stay late. Those ten minutes before and after are ministry gold.
• Make the call or send the text. One personal check‑in communicates massive value.
• Speak family before you feel it. Words create culture. Say it often.
• Sit with intention. Don’t default to the same seat or people.
• Remember details. Names, prayer requests, family stories—and bring them back up later.
• Step into their world. Coffee, a game, lunch—ministry multiplies outside the church walls.

What Teenagers Remember
After over four decades in ministry, here’s what people tell me—not what they heard preached, but what they felt lived:
“Our youth group felt like family.”

Whether your ministry has 15 teenagers or 1,500, the goal is the same: make something big feel personal. And that begins one leader, one volunteer, one moment of intentional care at a time.

Jesus did it with twelve.
You can do it too.
And I promise—you won’t die trying.
You’ll help them come alive.

What Genesis 2 Really Teaches Us About Being Single, Whole, and Human

If you’ve spent any time around young adults—or if you are one—you’ve probably heard some version of this internal monologue: “I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of not dating anyone. I’m tired of being single.”

It’s almost as if “single” has become a four‑letter word in Christian culture. A condition to escape. A season to rush through. A problem to solve.

But Scripture tells a very different story.

In Genesis 2:18, God never said, “It is not good for man to be single.”
He said, “It is not good that man should be alone.”

Those two words—single and alone—are not the same thing. Not biblically. Not emotionally. Not spiritually. And if we don’t understand the difference, we’ll spend our lives chasing relationships to fix a loneliness that relationships were never designed to cure.

Let’s peel back the layers of this myth and rediscover what God actually meant.

1. “Single” Is Not a Problem to Fix—It’s a State of Being Whole

• Separate
• Unique
• Whole

• Exclusive
• Isolated
• Solitary

Every time I look at Scripture—or at the lives of the spiritual giants I admire—I’m reminded of a truth we don’t like to talk about in Christian circles: even the strongest people hit bottom. Every hero you’ve ever respected has had moments when the ground beneath them gave way and they weren’t sure they could put one more foot in front of the other.

We tend to glamorize the highlight reels of people’s lives. But behind every “Bionic Man” moment is a very human heart that has known exhaustion, fear, and the temptation to quit.
And if we’re honest, we’ve all been there too.

Most of our challenges don’t come with a start date or an end date. They just show up. And we’re left to decide whether we’ll crumble… or cling to God.

And nowhere in Scripture is this more vividly illustrated than in 1 Kings 19, when Elijah—the spiritual superhero of his day—hits bottom so hard he leaves a crater.

Let’s walk through his story… and maybe our own.

Elijah Hits Bottom: When the Strongest Break
In 1 Kings 18, Elijah is the man. He calls down fire from heaven, defeats 450 prophets of Baal, and stands as God’s bold mouthpiece in a nation drowning in idolatry.

But one chapter later—literally the next page—Jezebel threatens him, and Elijah collapses emotionally. Scripture says: “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life.” (1 Kings 19:3)

The same man who faced down an army of false prophets is now undone by the angry words of one woman.

And before we judge him, let’s be honest: When your emotional, spiritual, and physical tank is empty, the smallest straw can break the strongest camel’s back.

Chuck Swindoll once said:  "Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood."

Elijah wasn’t weak.
He was depleted.
And depletion distorts everything.

The Dangerous Drift Toward Isolation
Scripture says Elijah left his servant behind and went alone into the desert.
He sent himself into isolation.

And isn’t that exactly what we do when we’re emotionally fried?
There’s a difference between healthy solitude and destructive isolation. Solitude restores. Isolation suffocates.

When we isolate ourselves, the Enemy whispers the same lies he whispered to Elijah:Hell’s strategy is simple: Get you alone….Then get you defeated.

If Jesus Himself needed people in the Garden of Gethsemane—waking them up repeatedly for support—how much more do we need people when life kicks us in the teeth?

When you isolate, you’re sending yourself into a desert. And deserts don’t heal you. They drain you.

The Pity Party Under the Juniper Tree
And before we roll our eyes, let’s remember: We’ve all been there.

Why do we hit these bottom points?
1. Sometimes we’ve made stupid, sinful choices.2. Sometimes we’ve gone too long without filling ourselves spiritually.3. Sometimes we’ve confused ministry activity with intimacy with God.4. Sometimes we’re trying to prove something.
But comparison is a thief.
As I have often said: “If you compare and compete, you live in defeat.”

You are not the middle-school kid who felt invisible.
You are not the adult trying to outrun your insecurities.
You are not the sum of your accomplishments.
You are already loved.
Elijah forgot that.
And so do we.

God’s Response to the Bionic Man Who Broke
What God does next is so tender it almost makes me cry.
He sends an angel with a very practical prescription:
1. Get some sleep.2. Eat something.3. Drink water.
Then the angel says: “The journey is too much for you.” (1 Kings 19:7)
Sometimes the most healing words God speaks are simply: “I get it.”

Jesus Understands the Pressure Cooker
It was called Calvary.
Isaiah 40:28–31 reminds us:
That’s not poetic fluff.
That’s a promise.

Courage, Pressure, and Finishing Well
There’s a quote I love: “Courage is just fear that’s said its prayers.”
And another: “A diamond is just a hunk of coal that stuck to its job under pressure.”Persistence is one of the greatest weapons you can use against hell.

Calvin Coolidge said it bluntly:
Elijah didn’t quit.
He got up.
He kept going.
And God used him powerfully again.

So What About You?
Maybe you’re under your own juniper tree right now.
Maybe you’re exhausted, discouraged, or secretly wondering if you can keep going.

Hear this:
You’re just tired.
Let God meet you where you are.
Let people into your desert.
Let the Word refill what life has drained.
Let persistence rise again in your spirit.

Because the same God who restored Elijah is restoring you.

And the journey ahead—yes, even the hard parts—will become the testimony that strengthens someone else when they hit bottom.

You really are more than a conqueror.

There’s a haunting question posed by Andy Andrews in his book How Do You Kill 11 Million People? It’s the kind of question that stops you mid‑sentence, mid‑scroll, mid‑life. And Andrews begins with a Scripture that feels like a divine spotlight: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32

But here’s the uncomfortable flip side: If truth sets us free, then what does the absence of truth do?

It binds.
It blinds.
It leads entire nations—entire generations—into bondage.

And history shows us that this isn’t just theory. It’s a pattern. A cycle. A sobering rhythm that civilizations have marched through again and again.

The Predictable Cycle of Civilizations
Historians have long observed that societies tend to follow a recognizable sequence:

1. Bondage → Spiritual Faith
2. Spiritual Faith → Courage
3. Courage → Liberty
4. Liberty → Abundance
5. Abundance → Complacency
6. Complacency → Apathy
7. Apathy → Dependence
8. Dependence → Bondage

It’s a tragic loop—one that usually plays out over about 200 years.
And if we don’t learn from it, we repeat it.

As leaders, parents, pastors, and influencers of the next generation, we can’t afford to shrug this off. The teenagers in our ministries today will inherit the world shaped by our choices, our courage, and our commitment to truth.

So… How Do You Kill 11 Million People?
The answer is painfully simple.
You lie to them.
That’s how the Holocaust happened.
Adolf Eichmann, the Nazi official who orchestrated the transportation of Jews to death camps, didn’t begin with violence. He began with words. He had a three‑step strategy:


2. Offer Incentives That Make the Lie Feel True
The Nazis accepted bribes from Jewish families—money, jewelry, valuables—in exchange for promises of better treatment.
3. Create the Illusion of Safety
When it came time to board the trains, Eichmann or another official would show up with only a handful of unarmed men. They spoke calmly. They reassured the crowds. They promised relocation to safer, better places.
A Compliant Society Believed the Lie
Most Germans didn’t participate in the atrocities.
But most didn’t resist either.

Only about 10% actively supported the Nazi movement.
The other 90% simply went along.

Not because they were evil.
But because they were uninformed, apathetic, or afraid.

And by the time the truth became undeniable—when neighbors disappeared, when children were taken, when freedoms evaporated—it was too late to stop the machine they had silently allowed to grow.

Why Did the Lies Work?
Germany was struggling economically. People were desperate for hope, stability, and direction. And into that vacuum stepped a leader who spoke passionately, confidently, and persuasively.

Hitler understood something chilling: “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.”
The Real Danger Isn’t a Liar—It’s a People Willing to Believe One
Every nation, every community, every church, every family faces this danger: the temptation to stop thinking, stop questioning, stop seeking truth.

When people become apathetic, when they stop caring enough to discern truth from deception, they become vulnerable.

Andy Andrews writes that the most dangerous threat to any nation is a population willing to trust a liar simply because it’s easier than confronting the truth.
And history echoes that warning.

Truth Matters—Because Direction Determines Destination
Andy Stanley puts it plainly: “It is direction, not intention, that determines destination.”
Good intentions don’t protect a nation…Or a church…Or a family…Or a teenager…Truth does.
And truth requires courage—especially when it’s inconvenient, unpopular, or uncomfortable.

What Will Be Your Contribution?
Every generation leaves a legacy. Every leader leaves fingerprints on the future.
So here’s the question that echoes through history: What will be remembered as your contribution to the longevity of our country—and to the spiritual strength of the next generation?
Andy Andrews writes in The Final Summit: “Power corrupts… and because power corrupts, humanity’s need for those in power to be of high character increases as the importance of the position increases.”

Character matters…Truth matters…Leadership matters…And the next generation is watching.

The Subtle Drift Toward Apathy
Most people don’t wake up one day and decide to stop caring.
Apathy creeps in quietly.
But history warns us: Apathy is the doorway back to bondage.

So… How Do You Kill 11 Million People?You just need people who don’t care enough to seek the truth.And every generation needs leaders—pastors, parents, mentors, teachers—who choose truth even when it costs something.

A Call to Courage for Today’s Leaders
If you’re leading teenagers, you’re shaping the future. You’re influencing the next wave of thinkers, voters, parents, pastors, innovators, and culture‑shapers.
And they need leaders who:
The world doesn’t drift toward truth.
But truth—real truth—requires vigilance.

Conclusion: Truth Still Sets People Free
The Constitution of the United States was built on the idea that truth matters.

The real question for us today is: Will we care enough to know the truth—and to teach it to the next generation?

If you’ve walked with Jesus for more than about five minutes, you’ve already discovered this truth: God has a waiting room. And sooner or later, every one of us ends up sitting in it. Sometimes for a few weeks. Sometimes for a few years. And sometimes—if we’re being brutally honest—it feels like we’ve been waiting since Moses parted the Red Sea.

Waiting for God to open a door.
Waiting for a prayer to be answered.
Waiting for a dream to come alive.
Waiting for a relationship to heal.
Waiting for direction, clarity, or even just a holy nudge.

And if you’re anything like me, you don’t exactly love waiting. I don’t know anyone who says, “Oh yes, Lord, please delay Your timing. I adore sitting in limbo.” No, thank you.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned over decades of ministry:
God’s waiting room is not punishment. It’s preparation.
And how you handle the waiting often determines what God can trust you with next.

So let’s talk about it—what NOT to do, what TO do, and how some of our favorite Bible heroes handled their own seasons in God’s Waiting Room.

A. What You Don’t Do While You’re Waiting



3. Don’t get apathetic, stale, or bored.



B. What You Can Do Right Now








C. Biblical Examples of What to Do in God’s Waiting Room



















D. Closing Summary: What God Wants You to Know in the Waiting Room

Let’s just get honest right out of the gate: the spiritual world is not some spooky subplot reserved for Halloween sermons or late‑night youth camp conversations. It’s real. Scripture talks about it over and over again. And while we usually love to camp out on the positive side of that invisible world—the presence of Jesus, the ministry of angels, the comfort of the Holy Spirit—I want to flip the coin for a moment. Because any great army has to know its enemy in order to defeat it. And whether you realize it or not, you’re in a war.

One of the phrases you hear me say often is, “Sin has energy.” And no, that’s not just Jeanne‑Mayo‑the‑youth‑pastor trying to sound cool. It’s a spiritual reality. Let me explain it in a way that even the NASA folks would nod their heads at.

The Gravitational Pull of Sin
Scientists talk about black holes—those terrifying little regions of space where matter is packed so tightly that the gravitational pull becomes so intense that not even light can escape. The closer you get, the stronger the pull. Sound familiar? Sin works the same way. You don’t feel its pull from across the room. But get close enough—emotionally, mentally, physically—and suddenly you’re not the one doing the pulling anymore. You’re the one being pulled.

That’s why the Bible doesn’t say, “Stand there and be strong while temptation dances in front of your face.”  Scripture says FLEE. Run like your hair is on fire. Don’t negotiate. Don’t linger. Don’t try to prove how spiritually tough you are. Some of us are trying to resist things we were never meant to resist. We were meant to run.

Resist the Devil—But Flee Temptation
 
James 4:7 tells us to resist the devil.

But when it comes to temptation, Scripture uses a whole different verb:

• “Flee these things.” — 1 Timothy 6:11
• “Flee youthful lusts.” — 2 Timothy 2:22
• “Flee fornication.” — 1 Corinthians 6:18

And then God gives us this beautiful promise: “With every temptation, He will provide a way of escape.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13
Translation: God will always give you a door. But He won’t drag you through it.

In the movie Interstellar, Matthew McConaughey gets sucked toward a black hole. The closer he gets, the more violently he’s pulled in. It’s a pretty spot‑on picture of what the Enemy tries to do to us. Sin doesn’t start with destruction—it starts with attraction. But the end is always the same.

So what do we do? We fight back. And the most powerful weapon we have is the Word of God.

A.W. Tozer wrote a book years ago called I Talk Back to the Devil. And oh, how I love that title. Because sometimes you’ve got to stop letting the Enemy narrate your life and start talking back with Scripture.

So, here are some of the Scriptures I personally use when I need to shut the Enemy up.
I TALK BACK TO THE DEVIL…
 
WHEN I’M TEMPTED
When temptation whispers, I answer with truth:

• “I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ who loves me.” — Romans 8:37
• “God will provide a way of escape.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13
• “My power shows up best in weak people.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
• “Nothing I do for the Lord is ever wasted.” — 1 Corinthians 15:58
• “Happy is the person who doesn’t give in.” — James 1:12
• “Greater is He that is in me.” — 1 John 4:4

Temptation loses its power when confronted with Scripture.

WHEN I WONDER IF ALL OF THIS IS REALLY WORTH IT
Because yes, even when you’ve been walking with the Lord for decades, you’ll have those days.

• “The pleasure of sin only lasts for a season.” — Hebrews 11:25
• “What I suffer now is nothing compared to the glory coming.” — Romans 8:18
• “If I refuse to quit, I will reap a harvest.” — Galatians 6:9
• “As I delight myself in the Lord, He gives me the desires of my heart.” — Psalm 37:4–5

The Enemy loves to whisper, “Is this worth it?”
God whispers back, “Just wait.”

WHEN GUILT KEEPS POUNDING IN MY HEAD
Even after I’ve asked for forgiveness.
(Yes, I’ve been there too.)

• “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1
• “I have peace with God.” — Romans 5:1
• “I will not remember your sins.” — Isaiah 43:25
• “Happy is the one whose guilt is forgiven.” — Psalm 32:1–2

If God has forgiven me, who am I to argue?

WHEN MY LIFE LACKS DIRECTION AND PURPOSE
When I feel confused about my future:

• “He will direct my paths.” — Proverbs 3:6
• “My steps are ordered by the Lord.” — Psalm 37:23
• “This is the way, walk in it.” — Isaiah 30:21
• “I make my plans, counting on the Lord to direct me.” — Proverbs 16:9
• “He has plans to give me hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
• “He charts the path ahead of me.” — Psalm 139:3, 5

God is not confused about my future, even when I am.

WHEN PRAYER FEELS LIKE TALKING TO THE CEILING
Oh, the number of times I’ve been here.

• “He hears me when I ask according to His will.” — 1 John 5:14–15
• “You will find Me when you seek Me.” — Jeremiah 29:12–14
• “Before they call, I will answer.” — Isaiah 65:24

He hears. He listens. He responds.

WHEN TOUGH TIMES COME AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND
Because life doesn’t always make sense. But God always remains faithful.

• “When I fall, I will arise.” — Micah 7:8
• “Trials produce endurance and mature character.” — James 1:3–4
• “Don’t be surprised at painful trials… rejoice.” — 1 Peter 4:12–13
• “Those who sow in tears will reap in joy.” — Psalm 126:5
• “You are my hiding place.” — Psalm 32:7
• “Why am I discouraged? My hope is in God.” — Psalm 42:11
• “All things work together for good.” — Romans 8:28
• “My ways are higher than your ways.” — Isaiah 55:8–9

Faith grows best in the soil of difficulty.

WHEN I WANT TO QUIT
And yes, even the strongest Christians have those moments.

• “I may be pressed, but I am not crushed… knocked down, but I get back up.” — 2 Corinthians 4:8–9

The Enemy wants me to quit.
God empowers me to endure.

Talking Back to the Devil
Talking back to the devil isn’t arrogance. It’s spiritual maturity.
It’s choosing to speak God’s truth louder than the Enemy’s lies.
It’s refusing to be dragged into sin’s gravitational pull.
It’s fleeing temptation, resisting the devil, and standing firm in the promises of God.

The spiritual world is real.
The battle is real.
But so is the victory.

So, the next time the Enemy whispers, shouts, accuses, tempts, or discourages you…
Talk back.

Speak Scripture.
Speak truth.
Speak victory.

Because in Christ, you are more than a conqueror.
And I’m cheering you on every step of the way.

One of the most breathtaking promises in all of Scripture is tucked quietly into the book of Isaiah: “I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord.” What a stunning thought. The God of the universe—who spoke galaxies into existence and holds the oceans in the hollow of His hand—leans toward ordinary people like you and me and whispers, “I want you to know Me.” Not simply know about Me. Not merely admire My works. But truly, deeply, intimately know Me.

And when God plants that desire inside you, something begins to shift. You start discovering that His character is so vast, so rich, so multi‑layered, that you could spend a lifetime exploring it and still barely scratch the surface. He is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. When sorrow presses in, He becomes your Comforter. When confusion clouds your path, He becomes your Direction. When you feel unseen, He becomes the God who notices. When you feel unworthy, He becomes the God who calls you beloved.

But here’s the part that has marked my life more than anything else: the leaders who make the greatest impact—those who weather storms without losing their spiritual footing—are the ones who refuse to get caught up only in God’s acts and instead devote themselves to learning His ways. His character. His heart. His nature.

Because life, as you already know, is not a smooth, freshly paved highway. It’s a winding road with unexpected detours, potholes, and seasons that make absolutely no sense to our human minds. There are days when the hurt feels too heavy to carry. Nights when fear and doubt creep in like unwelcome guests. Moments when you silently wonder, “God, where are You in all of this?”

And it’s in those moments—those raw, unfiltered, deeply human moments—that knowing God’s character becomes your lifeline. When everything around you shakes, something inside you rises up with a quiet, stubborn confidence: “I know who my God is. I know His heart. I know His faithfulness.” And that knowledge becomes the anchor that keeps you from drifting.

Honestly, if we were to pause long enough to ask ourselves, “What is the greatest need in my life? In my church? In my ministry?”—I’m convinced the answer would be the same across the board. Our greatest need is simply this: to truly know God.

Not just preach about Him. Not just serve Him. Not just work for Him. But to know Him.

Years ago, in one of the more spiritually hungry seasons of my life, I stumbled into something that became one of the most transformative practices I’ve ever adopted. It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t complicated. It didn’t require a seminary degree or a theological library. In fact, it was almost embarrassingly simple.

I started keeping what I called a Character of God notebook.

Now, before you imagine something polished and Pinterest‑worthy, let me assure you—it wasn’t. It was just a plain notebook I kept tucked beside my Bible. But it became a treasure chest for my soul.

During my devotional times, I would take one attribute of God—just one—and write it at the top of a page. Then I’d begin studying every Scripture I could find that reflected that attribute. Sometimes I’d spend a month on one characteristic. Other times a week. Occasionally just a day. I let the Holy Spirit set the pace.

And I didn’t start with the attributes that sounded the most spiritual. I started with the ones I desperately needed. The ones where I felt the weakest. The ones where my own story had left gaps.

For me, that meant beginning with the Fatherhood of God.

I didn’t grow up with a godly father. So the idea of God as a loving, trustworthy Father wasn’t just foreign—it felt almost impossible to grasp. I knew the verses. I could quote the Scriptures. But my heart didn’t know how to believe them.

So, I pulled out a simple concordance and looked up every verse that mentioned the word father. I reread stories I’d heard since childhood, but this time through a different lens. I camped out in the story of the prodigal son—not to study the rebellious son, but to study the father. His posture. His words. His actions. His heart.

And slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, something began to heal inside me. I started to see God not as a distant authority figure waiting for me to mess up, but as a Father who runs toward me even when I’ve made a mess of things. A Father who forgives quickly. A Father who celebrates my return. A Father who never stops loving, pursuing, or welcoming me home.

That one study changed me. It reshaped the way I prayed. It softened the way I led. It rewired the way I saw myself. And it made me hungry to know more of who God is.

As my Character of God notebook grew, I added another layer to the process. I began paying attention to the people around me—men and women in the body of Christ who seemed to embody certain attributes of God in a way that inspired me. Quietly, without telling them, I’d jot down their names next to specific characteristics.

I’d write things like, “I know God’s mercy better because I’ve watched how you forgive.” Or, “Your joy has shown me something about the joy of the Lord.” Or, “Your patience has helped me understand God’s patience with me.”

It became a double blessing. Not only did it help me see God more clearly, but it also challenged me to reflect His character more intentionally in my own relationships. I wanted people to know God better because of the way I lived, the way I loved, the way I served.

And that’s the beauty of this whole journey. The more you study who God is, the more you begin to mirror Him. The more you understand His heart, the more your heart begins to look like His. The more you immerse yourself in His character, the more naturally you carry His character into the lives of others.

You may decide to create your own Character of God notebook. Or maybe you’ll simply begin reading Scripture with fresh eyes, looking for glimpses of who God is rather than just what He does. Either way, my prayer is that you’ll begin a lifelong pursuit of knowing Him—not casually, not academically, but intimately.

Because life will bring both paved roads and rocky climbs. Seasons of clarity and seasons of confusion. Moments of joy and moments of heartbreak. But if you anchor your life not in God’s acts—which change from moment to moment—but in His character—which never changes—you will stand firm.

You will trust Him even when you cannot trace Him. You will follow Him even when the path feels uncertain. You will rest in Him even when the storm rages. And you will discover, over and over again, that the God you are learning to know is far more faithful, far more loving, and far more present than you ever imagined.

May you become a man or woman who doesn’t just witness God’s acts but truly knows His ways. Because that, more than anything else, will shape the kind of leader—and the kind of follower of Jesus—you become.

If you study the lives of truly great men and women—people who didn’t just dream big but actually lived big—you’ll find a common thread woven through every story. It’s not luck. It’s not talent. It’s not even opportunity. It’s HABITS: Great men and women have GREAT HABITS.

I think of a wildly successful California businessman who has prayed from 5:30 to 6:30 every single morning for over forty years. Rain or shine. Busy or not. His life didn’t “happen” to him—he built it one disciplined morning at a time.

Or Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. Before she passed, she was worth over $300 million, and today her company is valued at more than $2 billion. Her secret? A simple daily routine. Every morning she planned her day and listed six tasks she would complete—then she did them in order. No drama. No excuses. Just habits.

President Clinton’s Chief of Staff began each day by managing the President’s schedule and ended each night by planning the next day. The wealthiest athlete in the world was back in the gym the day after winning the Heavyweight Championship. A Hall of Fame pitcher rode a stationary bike for an hour and fifteen minutes immediately after throwing his seventh no‑hitter.

These people didn’t wait for greatness to strike. They built it.

Yet many people drift through life with almost no habits at all—just reacting, improvising, and hoping things magically improve. But the truth is simple: you’ll never become the person you want to be unless you intentionally build habits that lead you there.

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routines.

Habit isn’t complicated. Do something twice and it’s already easier than the first time. Do it for 21 days in a row and it becomes part of you. Discipline is simply the bridge that gets you there. God created us to be creatures of habit—discipline is the tool that shapes those habits into something meaningful.

So how do you build the kind of daily success habits that shape your future? Let’s walk through six foundational principles.

Six Principles for Developing Daily Success Habits

1. You don’t decide your future—you decide your habits.


2. What you do daily is shaping who you are becoming permanently.
3. Every person’s life is shaped by what they allow daily into their mind, body, and heart.
4. You will always drift toward your dominant thought.
5. You can change a failure routine into a success routine in 21 days.
6. Your daily habits are creating either the future you’ve always wanted or the future you dread.




Seven Daily Habits of Successful Leaders

Here are seven rituals practiced by uncommon leaders—people who refuse to live average lives.

1. Uncommon leaders get up at the same time every morning.
2. Uncommon leaders start their work at about the same time each day.
3. Uncommon leaders pray at the same time every day.
4. Uncommon leaders read the Word of God daily.
5. Uncommon leaders speak words of hope.

6. Uncommon leaders plan their day.
7. Uncommon leaders exercise daily.
What Causes Someone to Change Their Habits?

Three things:
How to Create Your Own Daily Success Routine

Here’s where the rubber meets the road.

1. Recognize what is worthy of your focus.
2. Identify your top three distractions.
3. Pray continuously.
4. Determine your “Ground Zero.”
5. Embrace flexibility.
6. Recognize people around you who lack focus.
7. Discern people who are blind to your focus.
8. Keep a visual picture of your desired goal.
9. Become militant about your routine.
The Bottom Line

• The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routines.
• You don’t decide your future—you decide your habits.
• And your habits decide your future.
• So build wisely. Build intentionally. Build daily.
• Your legacy is being shaped one habit at a time.

The core growth strategy for my youth groups over the years has been creating a youth church environment of AUTHENTIC FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE. Though your preaching, worship, and evangelism all play a big part in youth ministry growth...your strongest "drawing card" to this lonely young adult culture will remain a RELATIONAL ONE.

As I speak to youth pastors, people always enthusiastically nod when I begin to talk about the importance of friendship and love. Yet, I am often left with the feeling that those listening "nod" better than they live. Maybe that's because lots of us as leaders grew up in homes and youth ministries that didn't model that behavior very consistently in front of us. So, let me list a few specific ways that you can model genuine love and friendship to the teenagers in your ministry. All of us will agree that these simple suggestions are "right." The more strategic question is, "How many of these suggestions did I actually DO last week?"

1. If you've followed me for awhile, you've heard me talk about this one, but it's so important. Get out of your religious "Ivory Tower" and get into their world. When was the last time that you showed up at one of your teenager's basketball games...at their school lunchroom...or the local fast-food joint that your kids congregate at after school? You'll never grow your youth ministry...let alone convince teenagers that you really care about them...if you always connect with them on "church turf." Showing up in their worlds not only makes them feel cared for, it also gives you more authenticity when you connect with them in the normal church settings.
2. Make sure you spend lots more time actually connecting face-to-face with teenagers than you do sending emails or being on the internet! That sounds like such a shallow and simple point. But as I've scanned time management documents of many sincere youth leaders, it is really obvious that they spend much more time with their computer than they do actual teenagers! Perhaps you are one of those amazing volunteer youth leaders who work a secular job and lead the youth ministry during your "off hours." Whatever your own specific situation, don't put yourself on a guilt-trip as to how much actual time you spend with your teenagers. JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN AND KEEP IT A HIGH PRIORITY. One of my favorite youth ministry mottos is: "He who spends the most time WINS!" Granted, teenagers are a little tougher to spend time with than your computer. But if you are out of the "people business"...you're out of the ministry!

If you’ve walked with Jesus for more than five minutes, you already know this: not every season feels like a spiritual mountaintop. Some seasons feel more like a spiritual wasteland—dry, barren, and lonely. These are the desert times. The times when God feels a billion miles away and your emotions feel like they’ve been run through a spiritual dehydrator.

And if you’ve served in ministry—you know exactly how depleting it can be. You’re constantly pouring out, cheering others on, leading, loving, and giving. But what happens when your own spiritual tank is flashing “EMPTY” and you still have to show up? What happens when you’re the one encouraging everyone else, but inside you feel like you’re running on fumes?

Some churches unintentionally reinforce the idea that if you’re not “feeling” something, you must be spiritually off. But that’s simply not biblical. There’s a massive difference between what your head knows and what your heart feels. And sometimes—brace yourself—when you’re walking closest to Jesus, you feel absolutely nothing.

The Desert Is Not a Mistake
Hosea 2:14 says, “Therefore I will allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.” Notice that: God leads us into the desert. Not to punish us. Not to shame us. But to speak to us in ways we can’t hear when life is loud, busy, and full of noise.

The desert often feels like:

• A dry, emotionless walk with God
• Pressure, heat, and exhaustion
• Loneliness and isolation
• A place where even small tasks feel huge
• Monotony, where beauty hides unless you know how to look

Sometimes we create our own desert—through unconfessed sin, spiritual neglect, or refusing to spend time with God. Like the Dead Sea, we get spiritually stagnant when we only take in and never pour out.

But other times, the desert is God’s idea. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’re spiritually tone‑deaf. You may be fighting battles that don’t even exist.

As you mature in your faith, you stop obsessing over whether you’re in a “feeling” season. Just like in marriage—where early romance is full of fireworks—mature love becomes a choice rooted in commitment, not butterflies.

The enemy loves to whisper, “If you’re not feeling anything, something must be wrong.” And before you know it, you’re chasing feelings instead of chasing God.

But here’s the truth: Jesus was led into the desert by the Spirit, and He came out in the power of the Spirit. The devil didn’t lead Him there—though he certainly tried to talk to Him there. And he’ll try to talk to you too. Because the desert is a vulnerable place. If you don’t understand what God is doing, you’re more likely to make foolish decisions.

If you fear the barren, non‑feeling times and treat them like the enemy, you’ll never walk in the power of the Spirit. If feelings equaled closeness to God, then Jesus—while hanging on the cross doing the most God‑honoring act in history—was out of God’s will. And yet He cried, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” He felt nothing. But He was exactly where He was supposed to be.

God’s Purposes in the Desert
So why does God allow these seasons? What is He doing in the silence?

1. To Free You from the Idolatry of Feelings


2. To Protect You from Spiritual Overwatering
3. To Deepen Your Root System
4. To Separate Religious Feelings from Spiritual Reality
What to Do in the Desert
So how do you survive—and even thrive—in the desert?

1. Focus on God’s Character
2. Choose to Praise
3. Take “Him Time”

4. Guard Your Thought Life
5. Embrace the Shadow
6. Cling to God
Relationship Over Experience
In your pursuit of God, seek relationship over experience. Don’t chase the high. Chase Him.

In the non‑feeling times, God whispers, “My right hand is holding you… I’m with you. I’ll teach you to trust Me.”

Isaiah 41:10 says, “I will uphold you with My victorious right hand.”

Don’t make your goal getting out of the desert. Make your goal growing through it. If you focus on growth, you may not even notice when the desert ends. Feelings come and go. But God doesn’t. He’s still speaking in the desert—you just have to learn to listen with different ears. Sometimes, the silence is the message.

And maybe—just maybe—the fact that He trusts you with a desert season is one of His greatest compliments. He’s teaching you how to be His child without all the bells and whistles.

Don’t confuse feelings with relationship. They have very little to do with each other. But if you embrace the desert—if you lean in and listen—you’ll come out stronger. Rooted. Anchored. Unshakable. And you’ll walk in the power of the Spirit.

Years ago, I sat in a sanctuary filled with people whose lives had been shaped, stretched, and strengthened by one man—Pastor Wendell Smith, the founder of City Church in Seattle and the father of Pastor Judah Smith. It was one of those rare moments when heaven feels unusually close and the weight of a life well lived hangs in the air like a holy fragrance. As I listened to story after story, I found myself deeply moved—not just by who Wendell was, but by what his life meant. He had made his days count. He had spent his life on something that would outlive him. And sitting there, I became painfully aware of my own mortality.

• What did I want my life to stand for?
• What would remain when my voice was no longer heard and my hands could no longer serve?
• What kind of legacy would echo behind me?

In that moment, I wrote down a handful of thoughts—simple, raw, and honest. They became a kind of compass for me, a way to plant what I now call an eternal signature. And today, I want to share those thoughts with you. Because if you’re reading this, I already know something about you: you want your life to matter. You want your days to ripple into eternity. You want to live in a way that makes Jesus smile.

So let’s talk about how to do that.

1.  PURPOSE — A Life Mission That Points You Forward

2. PASSION — The Fire That Shapes Your Daily Choices

• Comparison is the Enemy’s favorite immobilizer.
• If he can’t destroy you, he’ll distract you.
• If he can’t derail you, he’ll discourage you.

3. TRUSTWORTHINESS — The Slow Cooked Gift of Consistency



4.  INTEGRITY — Making Your Words Whole With Your Actions



5. DARING — The Courage to Stop Playing It Safe




Planting Your Eternal Signature
When I think back to that funeral, I remember feeling both sobered and inspired. Wendell Smith didn’t live a perfect life—but he lived a purposeful one. He lived a passionate one. He lived a trustworthy, integrous, daring life. And because of that, his influence didn’t end when his heartbeat did.

That’s the kind of legacy I want.
And I have a feeling it’s the kind you want too.

So thank you—truly—for being one of those rare people who wants to spend their life on something that will ripple into eternity. Thank you for choosing to live in a way that makes Jesus smile. Thank you for caring about the kind of signature you leave behind.

Your life matters.
Your choices matter.
Your legacy is being written one day at a time.

Happy planting!

Ministry is beautiful, but it’s also brutal. It’s a calling filled with joy, heartbreak, growth, and grit. Over the years, I’ve learned some hard truths—lessons that didn’t come from a textbook or a conference, but from the trenches. If I could sit down with my younger self, these are the five things I wish someone had told me before I stepped into ministry.

1. You’ll Get Less Done in a Year Than You Think—But More in a Decade Than You Can Imagine


2.  Your Human Nature Will Never Be Totally Conquered

• Fighting sin and carnality
• Thinking we’ve outgrown basic spiritual disciplines
• Avoiding apologies
• Resisting accountability

• Hungry
• Angry
• Lonely
• Tired

3. Positions and Prominence Will Come and Go—But Your Family and Close Friends Are Forever




4. The Church World Will Celebrate Talent Over Character—But Don’t Let That Make You Cynical




5. Heaven and Hell Are Real—Let That Truth Anchor You




Final Thoughts
Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s full of paradoxes, battles, heartbreaks, and holy moments. You won’t always feel successful. You won’t always feel strong. But if you stay faithful, you’ll look back and see a legacy of impact that far exceeds what you imagined.

So here’s what I wish someone had told me:

• Be patient with the process.
• Stay vigilant against your flesh.
• Invest in your inner circle.
• Don’t let cynicism steal your joy.
• And never forget what’s at stake.

You’re not alone. You’re not forgotten. And you’re not wasting your time.
Keep going.

There was a time early in my ministry journey when I completely misunderstood the role of an enemy. I thought enemies were distractions, irritations, or spiritual potholes to avoid at all costs. I prayed them away, rebuked them away, and—if I’m honest—sometimes cried them away. But years and seasoning have a way of reshaping your perspective. Looking back now, I can say with conviction that my enemies have added more value to my life, my character, my walk with Jesus, and even my ministry excellence than some of my closest friends ever did.

It’s not that friends aren’t gifts. They are. But enemies? They are chisels. They shape you, sharpen you, and expose what needs to be strengthened. And for women in ministry, let’s be honest: two of your greatest challenges will often come from insecure men or jealous women. It’s not pretty, but it’s true. Anything God loves, hell hates—and anything God intends to use, hell tries to sabotage. And when Satan wants to derail you, he rarely starts with a crisis. He starts with a person. A specific person.

But if you learn to see your enemies through the lens of God’s sovereignty, you’ll discover that they are often the very tools God uses to grow you into the leader He designed you to be.

What an Enemy Looks Like in Real Life
Enemies don’t always come with fangs and a pitchfork. Sometimes they come with a smile, a handshake, or a prayer request. But their impact is unmistakable. An enemy in your life is often:

• Anyone who breaks your focus.
  They pull your attention away from what God has called you to do.
• Anyone who weakens your passion for God’s future for you.
  They water down your fire, your drive, your clarity.
• Anyone who resents your progress.
  They don’t celebrate your wins—they question them.
• Anyone who prefers discussing your flaws over your future.
  They are more interested in your missteps than your mission.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth: many times, my enemies have done more to push me toward excellence than my friends ever did. Joseph understood this when he said, “What the enemy meant for evil, God turned for good.” Sometimes the very people who try to break you end up building you.

Four Reasons Your Enemies Are Actually Beneficial
Jesus didn’t sugarcoat it. In Matthew 10:22, He said, “You will be hated by all men for My name’s sake…” Not might be. Will be. But He also promised that endurance would lead to salvation. So if enemies are inevitable, we might as well learn from them.

1. Enemies Cultivate Humility
2. Enemies Reveal Your Limitations

3. Enemies Force You to Use Hidden Gifts

• You will always have an enemy.
  If you’re doing anything meaningful, someone will oppose it.
• Your enemy is anyone who resents your desire for increase.
  Jealousy is the trophy mediocrity pays to excellence.
• Hurt people hurt people.
  Sometimes the person you call an enemy is simply someone who feels wounded by you.
• We create enemies when we react instead of respond.
  Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that "a soft answer turns away wrath, gut grievous words stir up more anger."
• Your enemy is anyone who fans a weakness God is trying to remove.
  The wrong friends can sabotage your future faster than any devil.
• People are down on what they’re not up on.
  Communicate clearly. Confusion breeds conflict.
• Anyone who kills your faith is an enemy.
  Protect the dream God is birthing in you.
• Anyone who keeps you chained to your past is an enemy.
  God is always moving you forward.
• Sometimes your enemies are close.
  Proximity increases the potential for pain.
• You cannot defeat your enemy in your own strength.
  Psalm 118:6 reminds us that the Lord is on our side. Victory looks different ten years later than it does in the moment.

Jeanne’s Four Keys to Overcoming the Enemies in Your Life

1. Become Obsessed With Pursuing the Lord and Integrity
2. Refocus on the Important Goals and Rituals in Your Life
3. Consult People Who Have Been Through Similar Battles
4. Stay Focused on Your Goals
Closing Thought
If you’re ever going to be a real winner in God’s eyes, you’re going to have to learn to not always win. Sometimes the greatest victory is refusing to fight a battle God never asked you to fight. Sometimes the greatest strength is choosing peace. And sometimes the greatest growth comes from the very enemy you once prayed away.

Enemies aren’t obstacles—they’re opportunities. And when you let God use them, they become some of the greatest teachers you’ll ever have.

There have been stages in my life, when I have been asked to go on when I have felt completely physically and emotionally drained and I have wondered how I possibly could. It was during those times that I remembered the moment when everything must have felt for Christ the emptiest and the most depleted...on the Cross. The time when He looked into the heavens and said, "Father, why have you forsaken Me?" It was at that moment that He did His most Hell defying ministry.

If you have times like these, anchor yourself by knowing that at the moments that you feel you have least to give because you are choosing out of commitment to the Lord and your kids to go on, they often in the scope of eternity, become some of your most Hell defying moments, just like Calvary was His.

Secondly, know that you have to take care of yourself a little better at during these moments. Those are the times that whatever taking care of yourself means to you...a day off...walking in a shopping center...going for a long Starbucks and reading a book...you need to do it, because nobody else will take care of you. It is in those moments when things are most crashing, you have got to give yourself permission to detach from it and take care of yourself.

Last, but not least, all of us have to realize that God has not called any of us to be the savior. We cannot take on weights of responsibility that other people often try to put on us. Whether it's our family or other people, we reach points where everybody wants us to be their god. They want us to feel this out...figure that out...fix it...do this...do that and we accept responsibility that really is beyond ourselves. People then will try to make us feel guilty if we don't jump through all the hoops they want us to. Nobody's going to back away from that except you. You have to say, "I love you, I'm praying for you, but you're going have to make your own decisions."

If you’ve been around ministry for more than five minutes, you’ve probably noticed something: the church world today is overflowing with leaders who function like CEOs. Slick. Strategic. Vision‑driven. And honestly, that’s not all bad. The Kingdom needs strong leadership. But somewhere along the way, we’ve accidentally created more ministry executives than true shepherds.

And hear my heart: I love leadership. I’ve taught leadership for decades. But at the end of the day, Jesus didn’t call us to be corporate executives. He called us to be shepherds. And cultivating that shepherd’s heart isn’t something that just magically appears. It’s a mantle we choose to put on, day after day.

Let’s talk about what that looks like.

1. Love Isn’t a Feeling — It’s a Choice
2. Shepherds Chase the Sheep
3. Do for One What You Wish You Could Do for Hundreds
4. People Like People Who Like Them
5. Speak Encouragement, Affirmation, and Love — Often6. Mark the Entrances and Block the Exits
7. Get Out of the Ivory Tower and Into Their World
The Question: Instructor or Father?
In your ministry, are you an instructor… or are you a true spiritual shepherd?

• One leads from the stage.
• The other leads from the heart.

To say excitement was in the air in anticipation of our first year students coming in, a new group in my Prevail Women's ministry, the Cadre, or traveling to meet another group of amazing pastors would be a huge understatement! Regardless of what the year holds, I'm always ready to give my heart away yet again. While the journey with most will be incredible, five decades in ministry tells me that one or two will break my heart.

Have you ever given your time, energy and heart to someone on your leadership team and then just had them walk away? If this hasn't happened to you, then you probably haven't been in ministry very long.

I think it's impossible to love and care for others deeply without hurting deeply. But I have learned that the very thing that makes ministry and life most fulfilling is giving your heart away. Relationship is the only way that we are all gratified and whenever you extend relationship, you have a high likelihood of being hurt. This has happened to me many times, yet even Jesus shared this pain with His disciples. Jesus poured His time, energy and heart into the 12 guys closest to Him and yet, Judas not only betrayed Him, but did it with a kiss.

Your choice when this happens is how you process the pain. You can either live a shriveled-up, self-centered life...that is just me, my four and no more and someday they still may hurt you...or you can choose to take a risk, to build into someone's life and give your heart away where it may get hurt. I have learned to put an invisible shield over my heart. I know it gets bent, dinged and hurt occasionally, so in prayer I say to the Lord, "I need You to take this shield back and pound out some of the dings and the hurt."

Often it has helped me to spend time processing my emotions and feelings by journaling. But even with the big bumps and hurtful situations, this side of the ministry is worth absolutely every price tag you pay. Because you're soul becomes shriveled-up if you don't pay it.

Because I have these breathtaking people around me and I never want them to feel like I'm not carrying my own weight, one of my most mammoth mind games and one of the biggest challenges I face is learning to take time off without guilt. Yet without this time, I know I cannot do effective ministry. So I try to follow a few simple rules:

1. I have to remind myself that no one can put me on a guilt trip unless I buy the ticket.
2. If I take a day off and I really want to come out of it replenished, I need to turn the technology off. (Honestly, I don't do this well but I'm working on it.)
3. I have to say to myself over and over again, I want to pace my life so I will not be another one of the ministry fatality figures that litter the ministry world. I've done this for decades and I don't want to blow it now. I know if I can't pace this without guilt I'm not going to be able to make the long haul.
4. The Strategic 5% – It's the big stuff that will really walk with you into eternity and it's the stuff you won't be able to do well if you don't take days off without guilt.

• Only you can control your own spiritual life with Jesus, no one will know if you are just a business associate.
• No one will ever control how you do your own most intimate family relationships.
• No one can control what I do about my own physical health but me.

I recently received an email from a member of my Cadre who was wondering, "Am I asking the right questions?" Sadly, not too many people pause to ask those kinds of questions.

Though the word-game has become trite, his questions are now beginning to shift from "success" to "significance." I realize the worn out nature of those two words; but they aptly describe the transition he is wanting to make.

"Success" questions mostly deal with short-term goals and rewards (i.e. "How can I raise the budget?" and "How did this year compare to last year in accomplished goals?")

"Significance" questions mostly deal with INTERNAL DEPTH, MULTIPLICATION, AND LEGACY.

Let me give you a few of my "Significance Questions" through the years.

INTERNAL DEPTH:

• What part of my character am I purposefully focusing on to grow at this season of my life?
• Where, internally, am I still "wearing skins?" (Jacob/Esau parallel..."skins" being the parts on my inner-person where I'm secretly trying to be someone I am not.)
• Who in my life is genuinely allowed access to the deepest parts of me and is deeply listened to when they "tweak" and reveal what they see?
• What is honestly my deepest fear and is it quietly motivating me or crippling me at this point in my journey?

MULTIPLICATION:

• What are the islands of strength in my life that have now become clear that I should focus on in order to create maximum impact?
• What should soon be put on my "NOT To-Do List"? In other words, for maximum multiplication of my strengths, what am I doing now that someone else could do and allow me more time to focus on my strengths?
• Who are the key people in my life that I am giving myself deeply to (aside from my immediate family) people who have enough leadership and influence aptitude to "multiply the multiplier"? My son, Josh, once said to me, "My life listens deeply to yours." So by whom else might that authentically be said?

LEGACY:

• What are the 5-7 words I want people to honestly be able to describe me with at my funeral?
• If true success is that "those who know me best, love me most" (my personal definition) then how, in brutal honesty, can I be a better wife and mother (husband and father)?
• Gandhi's words are simple but profound: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." With that in mind, what is beginning to emerge in my life as the "slice of change" I would like to create through my life? This will be tweaked and perhaps totally changed as the years go on. Mine began as an internal mission to "Motivate and mentor Kamikaze Christianity into practicing and potential kingdom champions." Then as the years progressed, another "layer" began to emerge which will probably be my deeper legacy, "To encourage, equip, inspire and instruct the youth leaders of this generation." To me, those words are so much more than trite mission statements. They become "umpires," calling in and out the decisions and priorities in my life.

As I type these questions, I'm reminded of the shallowness of what the church calls "success." As always, success and internal fulfillment remain an "inside job."

Great executives know how to do one thing well – surround themselves with amazing individuals. The president chooses his cabinet wisely, a CEO carefully selects his staff, and a pastor must handpick solid leaders to take the group forward. One of the first things I have done in every ministry I began is to search out good leaders.

• I look throughout the church to find people who exemplify good leadership qualities and usually carry influence.
• The people I usually approach to join the ministry team (typically volunteers) are those who exhibit the following:
  *  Smile occasionally
  *  Does not appear to be affected by loud music
  *  Have a heart for kids.
• After seeking them out, I conduct a preliminary interview disguised as a cordial conversation, and proceed to invite them to dinner.

This process has taken place literally hundreds of times and I still find myself amazed at how well the principles continue to work.

In Cadre emails, I'm frequently asked to share some of my tips on developing a great leadership team. I thought you might enjoy hearing a few too. While some of the points may not sound too "glamorous," please just know that they work if you have the guts and endurance to keep doing them.

#1: Blessed is the leader who recruits other youth leaders one person at a time.

Did you notice my choice of the word "recruit"? Jesus didn't just make "pulpit" announcements and ask for "volunteers" when He was assembling His leadership team (the disciples). He aggressively went looking for people to share His mission and then He unashamedly recruited them!

Please stop thinking that bulletin inserts or pulpit announcements are going to build your leadership team! Quality people rarely involve themselves with a ministry simply because they felt motivated from a general announcement. With rare exceptions, non-targeted announcements usually get pretty non-targeted volunteers! The building of an effective youth ministry team is a mission of recruitment...one person at a time.

#2: Blessed is the leader who creates a three-month entry level opportunity so potential leaders don't feel trapped.

Often in church ministries, people don't want to give leadership a try because they feel as though they will be trapped for a year or so, even if they quickly determine that a specific ministry arena is not fulfilling for them. So it is important to create a fulfilling but non-threatening entry level opportunity for people you are recruiting to join your leadership team. It is also important that you clearly say, "Give this a try for just three months. At the end of that time, I promise you that you can back away without guilt if this ministry doesn't seem to be a fit.

All through the three-month period, focus on expressing honest appreciation to them over and over about their willingness to reach out to some of the teenagers. Appreciation still remains the best motivator for most volunteers.

#3: Blessed is the leader who "Loads the Bases" for new recruit's future ministry success.

None of us like to volunteer to do something that makes us feel like an absolute reject and failure and working with teenagers can be incredibly intimidating, especially when a leader is first starting. So make sure you "load the bases" for your new recruit's ministry fulfillment by assigning a couple of teenagers to them who will be very responsive. I assign 3-4 students to each new leader and often I call a couple of teenagers on a new leader's list and say something like this, "OK, we've got a new potential youth leader named, ‘Leroy Leader' that we really want to be a part of our leadership team. I gave him your name as one of four teenagers in our youth ministry he can build a friendship with. When he sees you at youth service or calls you on the phone, be really nice to him!" (I also tell the teenager to obviously not tell "Leroy Leader" that I requested that!)

#4: Blessed is the leader who requests a few specific but clearly-defined actions from newly recruited leaders on a weekly basis.

You are wise to follow the "KISS" Principle. "Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!" Keep your specific actions simple, reachable, and not terribly threatening. I request that my new leaders do the following each week:

1. Show up 15 minutes early to the youth service and walk around, acting like "you own the place," creating positive tenor and an atmosphere of friendship.
2. Stay at least 15 minutes after the youth service concludes, attempting to reach out in friendship or ministry to at least one of the teenagers before you leave that night.
3. In order to begin to build "friendship bridges" with specific students, please call each of your four students on the phone every week. Let your leader know that when the student "grunts" as though he is not interested in anything you have to say, please realize that this is just normal!
4. Attempt to connect friendship-wise with your 4 students at some point during the youth service. "Realize that friendship is the paved highway that the Holy Spirit will most often travel on." Most teenagers are not deeply impacted by hearing another message, but are more deeply impacted by having an authentic, Christian relationship with a caring leader that believes in them and helps them to become all they can be.

#5: Blessed is the leader who understands the never ending importance of encouragement and appreciation.

Mark Twain said that "Most people can live a long time on one really good compliment."
It's so important that people feel genuinely appreciated for the sacrifice of their time and energies. The Epistles talk about "being addicted to the working of the ministry." Given time, your new leaders will become so fulfilled with the joy of changing teenagers' lives that they too, will become "addicted to the work of the ministry." But along the way, I cannot overestimate the importance of expressing genuine, continual appreciation and encouragement.

Someone once privately asked me an interesting question. "How do you build something in youth ministry that will really last, Jeanne?" the guy said quietly. The intensity behind his voice and the seriousness in his eyes told me that he probably had a personal story behind the question. Let me highlight for you a few of the things that I shared with him:

1. Focus on building a destiny—not a dynasty.
   A destiny deals with people, but a dynasty deals with programs. Destiny tends to focus on significance, but a dynasty focuses on success. A person of destiny prioritizes servanthood; but someone focused on a dynasty prioritizes servitude. All along the ministry journey, there will be the temptation to focus on the more visible, the more spectacular, and the more sensational. But from my vantage point of 50+ exciting years in full-time ministry, I can assure you that those things won't build a ministry that will last. It will be the non-glamorous moments of personal discipling, laborious planning, and behind-the-scenes praying that will come together to create a ministry that will really last. Don't get too impressed with the spectacular. Jesus isn't.
2. Choose or lose.
   In other words, be a person who doesn't just stumble into his priorities, but a person who very purposefully chooses his priorities. Thoreau once said, "It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is ‘What are you busy doing?'” The busier you are as a leader, the more strategic you have to become about living a "choose or lose" lifestyle. We're all familiar with the Pareto Principle that tells us, "20% of our time efforts will usually produce 80% of our results." So if you want to create a lasting ministry impact in peoples' lives, you will continually be asking, "Where can I put my energies that produce the most results?” Often in my life, that question determines how much time I invest into various people. I focus on giving myself away to my leaders and potential leaders. If not, my "EGR's" ("Extra Grace Required”) eat up the majority of my time.
3. Preach louder with your life than you do your pulpit.
   I'm pretty skeptical about how much real truth is transferred apart from a living, up close model. So if you want to build a ministry that will last, prioritize living your own messages with more fervor than you ever publicly communicate them. People will catch your attitudes, your priorities, and your responses. And over time, that haunting Scripture from Proverbs will become a reality: "When a student is fully trained, he will be like his teacher." I've been privileged to be the youth pastor for 13, 15, 9 and 8 years respectively at different locations. On my farewell nights, no one mentioned my sermons or brilliant program ideas. But countless students talked about quietly watching me, noticing my attitudes, and internally being shaped by the Christ I tried to model.
4. Begin preparing for your exit on the day you enter.
   Sound strange? But I really think this truth is vital. If you want to create a ministry that has lasting impact, you have to focus on creating leadership all around you. In short, you have to "work yourself out of a job." That's always one of my first goals when I began to work with a new youth ministry. So in this manner, I began preparing for my farewell party during my very first month. You see, common sense tells me I won't be leading a certain youth group forever. It may be 15 or 20 years down the line; but at some point, I will pass the baton to someone else. If I internally want to build a self-centered dynasty, I will secretly be glad if the ministry starts to unravel when I walk away. But if my heart has been focused on creating a ministry that will last, I will want a core of strong, competent leaders to take the ministry to the next level. Though the old saying is trite, it still remains true: "There is no success without a successor."
5. Build yourself to last.
   Lasting ministries rise and fall on lasting leaders. Sometimes, with all the demands of ministry, we forget the importance of taking care of ourselves. Worse yet, we can sometimes feel self-centered or lazy when we "disappear" for a day or choose occasionally not to answer our cell phone. We all know that in a family unit, one of the nicest things mom and dad can do for the children is to take care of themselves. In like manner, in a ministry family, one of your most unselfish leadership acts will be to take care of yourself. Pace yourself so you can do ministry for the long haul. That means taking days off without guilt, focusing on some people that are replenishing to you, and even turning off your cell phone. That also means doing some "self-leadership" activities like reading, ministry coaching, or interacting—anything to help your ministry skills grow to the next level. By building yourself to last, you are building a ministry that will do the same.

As we started to finish up the conversation, I said casually, "Any special reason you ask?"
Pausing, sadness flashed across his eyes again. "I guess so. Growing up, I had 11 different youth leaders. Now my old church doesn't even have a youth ministry. Everybody's scattered and most of us aren't even living for the Lord anymore. I just don't want to repeat the pattern. I'm a volunteer in a different city now. But I just want to help create something that is around for a long, long time."